Euro cyclist club rules #25-27

25. Any physical activity, other than cycling, is STRONGLY FROWNED UPON. This includes any form of running or swimming and their derivatives (this includes walking). The ONLY TWO other sports with a recognized degree of euro are cross country skiing, and long track speed skating.

26. MTB gloves are FORBIDDEN in all instances. Cycling gloves will be slick, white (in accordance with kit), and have minimal padding. Padding will be beige or white in color. Wearing NO GLOVES is entirely acceptable and encouraged. In the case where said euro cyclist is wearing a leader’s jersey, special gloves will be made to match the color of the jersey while blending the team kit colors simultaneously.

27. In a circumstance where any cyclist (or triathlete) ever displays aggression or disrespect towards you, you are required to ride up uncomfortably close and slap them in the face with your team-issue gloves.

(From the Facebook group "The official rules of the Euro cyclist.")